Escare IncFatherhood: Coping with change
Generally, the challenge and change, inherent in becoming a father, is
tough on most men.
Some men feel more confident because they have had contact with babies as an older brother or with the babies of friends and relatives.
Most men do not feel well prepared, particularly since most births are not planned. It is common to have anxiety around being responsible for a new human being, as well as experiencing a range of new and strong emotions.
This transition is life changing and it can dredge up all sorts of issues and heighten old insecurities.
While everyone's experience is unique, most of you will experience sleepless nights, crying babies, nappies, no time for the guys, etc. and as for romance. Forget it.
The major changes new mums experience often result in major frustration, which maybe redirected towards dad. With mum's focus being primarily on the baby, dads may feel they are facing challenges on their own. There isn't alot of time for talking in the first months of your new babies life.
Long work hours and forming families also creates conflict: dad struggles to both provide and participate, and can come home to find mom resentful that she has been left alone to care for the baby.
To give mum a break, dad dutifully takes the baby, who proceeds to wail nonstop because that is what many babies do at night. Get the picture?
Some basic advice and assurance:
- You will get through it
- Be patient and roll with the punches
- Trust your instincts
- Get involved, and you will quickly learn the ropes
- Allow your baby to bring out the best in you.