Escare IncFatherhood: New Family
The average marriage declines in happiness after the first baby.
Yours can be enhanced.
Today 30% of babies are born to unmarried couples, where dads often face tough circumstances.
Walking away is not always an option that sits comfortably for many men. Getting involved with your new child really works.
The basic challenge facing new fathers is not changing nappies or even comforting a crying baby, but working together with one's partner to form your new family.
There is no easy formula. Communication, however, is the key. If you do not regularly talk things over with your partner, start now.
Common issues to go over include:
- Lingering issues over a "surprise" pregnancy
- How both of you will balance work and family
- The kind of father (and mother) you hope to be
- How you can help each other do their best
Your new family and differences in approach
Your partner will become very mindful of the child growing within and focuses on the new baby on many levels.
New dads tend to become excited initially, and then settle into a process of thinking things over in the backs of our minds. This often translates into your partner thinking you don't care, whilst the Dad may think she has gone off the deep end.
Keep in mind that traditional parenting will try and impose itself if you allow it, particularly regarding your role. Make sure you and your wife are clear on your plans for hands-on participation.
Many dads report that their partners transform into someone "different." She is experiencing tremendous impacts upon her body, emotions, career and lifestyle, which can often produce a great deal of frustration. Do not take things personally, just be patient, as this will pass.
Your new family - some basic advice:
- Stay flexible and be patient
- Blow off steam with other dads
- Develop a sense of humor. If you don't want to cry, learn to laugh.